Finding Your Way To Love….The Journey Begins
I would like to invite you to go on a journey with me. The destination I have in mind can be reached at the end of an interesting and sometimes challenging treasure hunt. So, you may ask, “What is the treasure we seek?” In my view this treasure is far greater than any material possession you could ever imagine. The treasure that can be yours, and mine, if we chose this journey, is the finding of true love in our lives. Finding “true love” for you may take the form of finally connecting with the “soul mate” you have been longing for. Or, if you are already in a solid relationship, your treasure may be discovering a deeper and more intimate connection with your beloved. Your “treasure” may even be connecting more deeply with your family and friends. In this treasure hunt you define your treasure. What do you long for? How do you want to feel in your most important relationships?
Defining your destination and creating your map…What is your starting point?
At the beginning of any journey it is useful to consult a map. The map begins with where you are right now and ends with your final destination. In the case of finding love the only difference is that you create the map in your imagination. It is therefore unique to you. You will need to decide where you are right now, and where it is you want to go. This may sound obvious and simplistic, but actually it’s not always.” It’s important to be able to take an honest look at yourself and make peace with the “way things are” right now. For example, you may need to admit, “Yes, I am just really lonely and I long for a life partner, or, yes, it’s true, I feel alienated from my family or distant from my partner.” Admitting these things may feel incredibly vulnerable, but it’s an essential “starting point” for you journey. So…. where are you right now? Only you know the answer.
Using “Visioning” To Discover Your Destination
Dr. Michael Beckworth, founder of the Agape spiritual movement in Southern California, is a proponent of the use of Visioning to actually help us each, individually, to “open ourselves up to what love feels like.” This is the first step to being receptive to love when it shows up. If we have been alone for a long time, for example, we may not remember the feeling of loving another and being loved in return. In visioning, the idea is to take time to immerse yourself in a meditative and/or prayerful state of mind and just observe and feel what comes up as you imagine loving another without reservation, and being loved for exactly who you are. In visioning, you call forth all that you have ever experienced about the feeling of love. Then you allow yourself to feel all of these feelings. The key here is that we have to convince ourselves at our very core that such love is possible and that we are deserving of it. This is really essential because if we don’t believe love will happen to us, it simply won’t. Visioning is a creative process whereby we can harness the power of our imagination to actually change core beliefs we may have been carrying around for a long time.
The difference between Visioning and Visualization
There is a process in metaphysical thought called visualization whereby the practitioner is encouraged to clearly visualize exactly what he or she wants in great detail and somehow “if you see it, it will come” That’s not what visioning is. In visioning the idea is to open up your heart and call forth that which lies dormant within you and allow your deepest feelings and desires to emerge. In visioning, it is not about what your conscious mind already “thinks” it knows…. rather it is about opening up your consciousness and discovering that, at your very core, there is a deeper knowing that we all possess about what true love really is…and how it feels from the inside out. If we can feel it, remember it, and believe in it…. it can be ours. In your conscious mind, you might believe that there is a checklist of attributes that must be possessed by “the one” who will be your soul mate. He/she must be tall, blond, and rich for example. However, if you depend upon such a checklist you may well miss out on your treasure when it shows up. You won’t recognize it, because it does not fit your criteria.
Ok…what now…I’ve got my starting point and I have an idea of how I want to feel when I have brought love into my life.
You now have an idea of where you are now and how you want to feel when you reach you destination (your treasure). Obviously this does not mean your relationships are now wonderful and/or you have found the one. Stay tuned to my next series of blogs and we can learn together how to tackle the various roadblocks and obstacles that may block our path. The blocks and obstacles are like the physical challenges that a car might encounter as it travels its way across the country. Some of these challenges are expected, and some take us by surprise as we make our way to the final destination. The important thing is just to stay on the road and keep moving forward.
By Leslie Kays