I grew up in a very academically competitive environment. As a professor’s daughter living in the area around a highly regarded University, the assumption was that I too would excel in all of my academic studies. I wanted too…but I couldn’t and I had very low self-esteem as a result. “What’s wrong with me?”, I would ask myself. “I guess I’m just not good enough” was the conclusion I reached.

I feel very differently about my plight as a young person as I look back on it now. In the fullness of time I have been a teacher, a mother, and a therapist. I know what I value in people I have known over the years.  I know what it is I miss if they pass on, or somehow are not a part of my life anymore. 

Contrary to my core beliefs as a young person, who always looked to people who were “smart”, “witty”, and good at verbal sparring,  I no longer automatically revere people who “know stuff”.  I no longer look exclusively to these folks to help me understand the world or solve my own personal issues. Over the years I have noticed that I did not always end up feeling good about myself, if I used “smart” people as my source.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m definitely intellectually curious, and I’m infinitely grateful for the scientists and researchers who are committed to healing mankind. We need these folks. I love to read the books, hear about discoveries, or listen to talks. I do admire intellect…. but it is not necessarily healing and inspiring for me.

As I reach the third act of my life however, and review all of the memories of the people who have been important to me, I think of the phrase “Its not what you know, its who you are”

I think this is what really matters in the end.

Its awesome if you know things, study things, and are able to contribute to the human knowledge base, but if you don’t communicate and connect with people, as well as listen to them, and show respect for who they are, I’m not much interested in having a relationship with you. 

I’m “over it, when it comes to being “impressed “ (read” intimidated”) with people, or when it comes to trying to “impress” people. That’s in my past. Nowadays I hope I can strive to be the kind of person who people remember and want to be around because of who I am…not because of what I know.