A good friend of mine divorced recently. She, like me, is in her sixties. Her children are launched, she owns a home, and she is secure and happy in her job. She’s terrified though, at the prospect of dating “in the grey years” as she terms this time in her life. “What if I’m all washed up and unattractive now?” she laments. “I don’t know if I can handle the rejection that will inevitably be a part of this process”.
Here are the main points of the little “pep” talk I gave her:
- First of all, you need a basic change of “mindset” regarding your value and worth at this time in your life. Take some time to look at and acknowledge all that you bring to the table. Think about all of your life experiences, your rich insights and wisdom, your accomplishments…all that you have to offer
- This is a whole new ballgame of dating…completely unlike when you were young and looking for someone you might want to settle down and have a family with. You have no worries about biological clocks, or the “work/life” balance issues that are a part of raising a family. That part of your life is done. Now it’s just about compatibility.
- You know yourself far better, hopefully, than you ever have. Just take some time to asses what works and doesn’t work in your relationships. Do this inner work before starting to date, and you will save yourself a lot of heartbreak. The only thing you don’t have, that you might have before, is a whole lot of time for a relationship that was doomed from the start. You can learn to spot those
- Be as open minded as possible as far as the superficial physical and/or “lifestyle” details about a person. Of course you can have “deal breaker” characteristics of someone who you can’t be with. But…try to be flexible
- Above all…. have fun and be adventurous. Go places and do things with new potential partners that you have not done before. This can be one of the best times of your life